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Why would a garden-variety TikTok ad like this go so viral? It generated so much discourse because the video's caption read, “So when are you two having kids?” The video implies that they’re not having kids because their travels take up so much of their time, which made a lot of people really angry.
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The online trad community, who think that life is meaningless if you don’t have kids, came out in droves to criticize this couple and write fanfiction about how badly they think their lives are going to turn out.
“When they [pass away], these books will be thrown in the trash by their caretaker, and no one will ever remember they existed” - @raven_brah
“Those little couples who decide not to have kids so they can dedicate their lives to excessive consumption disguised as personal and professional fulfillment in the form of trips abroad must be, by far, the most insufferable people of the 21st century.” -@drunkkatemoss
“[I] took my 4 kids fishing today. [My] daughter caught her first fish. [It was] a million times cooler than visiting some tourist trap.” -@GuyJones1111
Why does the concept of total strangers choosing not to have kids to prioritize traveling enrage these people so much? Why are they spending so much time criticizing these young people, who appear young enough to have kids in 10 years if they wanted to, instead of spending time with their families?
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A lot of parents act this way as a form of evangelizing parenthood. Having kids is the “most fulfilling” thing that they’ve ever done, and they want everyone, especially childless young adults who are cold on the idea of parenthood, to know that it is so much better than anything they did before they had kids. When they play catch with their son, they enjoy it a million times more than they enjoyed staying out until 3 AM at a frat party. When they hold their baby girl, something in their heart is activated that they have never felt during their long, boring days at the office. There’s no question that sometimes this evangelizing comes from a well-meaning place, wanting young people to enjoy the joyful fulfillment that parenthood can bring.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The problem with evangelizing parenthood is that it doesn’t account for the fact that everyone is different. Not everyone is meant to go forth and multiply, and that’s okay! Some young people are married, have a stable household income, and still don’t want to be parents, and that’s okay. I can think of nothing worse than giving the responsibility of parenthood to someone who is hostile to the very idea of it. It harms both parent and child for the rest of their lives.
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No young couples who are on the fence about, or against having kids, are going to suddenly choose to do so because some anonymous Twitter account is screaming at them, telling them that their lives are worth nothing if they don’t reproduce. A couple is much more likely to be influenced to have kids by watching their family members and friends become happy parents. Having actual support from their government during and after pregnancy could also help. Heck, they’re more likely to be influenced by their own biological clocks and animal impulses than they ever could be by a clearly miserable, anonymous father who insists that everyone who doesn’t live exactly like him is a waste of life.
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These angry parents are part of a cultural shift away from viewing traveling as a positive, life-enriching experience. You would think that people experiencing different parts of the world would be seen as a universally positive thing (unless they are putting it on a high-interest credit card they can’t afford), but that’s not the case. Some prudes view a single woman traveling solo as a marker of promiscuity. Trads often view travel as a self-indulgent, selfish act that doesn’t actually enrich your life. They don’t understand why someone might be deeply affected by seeing the remains of Roman civilization or by swimming in waters clearer than they could ever find back home.
“Traveling this much is no different from scrolling through Reels—think about it, and you'll agree.” -@uceseti
“Traveling used to be this cool thing that only the ultra-rich or ultra-poor nomads did. They sailed across the sea for months and lived in exotic lands, learning about the world. They were true experiences. Now, traveling is just being a DINK and picking a city in Europe to WFH for a week. No, getting an “authentic” carbonara from Rome isn’t special, and it certainly doesn’t make you Hemingway.” -@bumbadum14
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In the real world outside of social media, this is a non-issue. Only a few Gen Zers are traveling constantly with no end in sight in lieu of having kids. The majority of young couples are not forgoing starting a family because they are flushing away all of their disposable income on international flights. It’s much more common for couples to delay or forgo having kids because they struggle to take care of themselves financially, and don’t want to subject their kids to growing up in poverty. It’s far less expensive to take a couple of vacations every year than it is to raise a family, and there’s literally nothing wrong with choosing the former.
Speaking of the real world, many parents travel with their kids. It’s not like you have to choose only travel or parenthood. If you can save up enough money and plan your life responsibly, you can figure out a way to be a parent while also seeing Mykonos at least once in your life. It’s not good for you to approach positive life experiences with an all-or-nothing mindset.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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It’s true that travel cannot be the only enriching thing in your life. But the same goes for being a parent. Traveling can be incredibly pleasurable, but the pleasure will wane if travel is all you have in life. It’s important to have a community, a career, a relationship, or any number of things that fulfill you outside of consumption and leisure.
If you think that children are the only thing that brings you happiness, you need to take a long, hard look at everything else in your life. Kids can tell when their parents are relying on them for emotional stability. Plus, lacking any sort of fulfillment outside of parenting puts an exorbitant amount of stress on the kid, whether you see it or not.
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Whether you’re trying to have 15 kids or travel to 15 countries, your goal should always be to do the things that make you happy. If that’s traveling, having kids, working hard, slacking off, or anything else that doesn’t hurt anybody, you have every right to try and find your own happiness. Anyone who seethes in resentment because of that happiness cannot claim to be satisfied with their own life. So just do what makes you happy and mind your own business!
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Chronically online parents criticizing young couples for traveling will not increase the birth rate
To travel, or to have children. Apparently, those are the only two options in life.
A young couple recently went viral for showing off photo albums documenting their travels. These are no ordinary photo albums that your mom bought at Sears to preserve your baby pictures in the 90s. They're bound like books, complete with a colorful cover that says when and where you traveled. From the looks of the video, you'd think they have spent their whole 20s doing nothing but traveling to foreign countries, but it's incredibly misleading. It's an ad: the woman in the video is the creator of these travel books, and she's selling them.
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